SCHOOL UPDATE

• 1st BUSINESS LAW TEST - 96
• 1st ENGLISH COMP ESSAY - 95

I feel smarter already.

IS OBAMA SECRETLY DJ LANCE?

BACK TO SCHOOL...

SINCE SAVING THE WORLD IS A PART-TME JOB, AND I ONLY HAVE 3 MORE YEARS OF DOING SO, I HAVE BEGUN ANOTHER ADVENTURE - GETTING A BACHELOR'S DEGREE! I STARTED MY FIRST CLASS LAST NIGHT AND MY SECOND IS TOMORROW. I ALREADY HAVE 50 CREDITS, SO I AM ALMOST HALF-WAY THERE. AND NO, I AM NOT THE OLDEST GUY IN THE ROOM...

MAY 2009 JIHAD REPORT

JIHAD ATTACKS: 142
DEAD BODIES: 657
CRITICALLY INJURED: 1426

Looks like another banner month for the "religion of peace"